Sermon 06/29/08
Matthew 10:40-42
Our True reality is in our identity and unity with all life.
- Joseph Campbell
Hospitality in the Biblical tradition:
Abraham and Sarah received three strangers at Mamre and offered them a fine meal; they revealed themselves to be divine messengers and announced that Sarah, who was barren and past the age of giving birth, would give birth to a son. (Gen 18:1-15)
A widow offered food and shelter to Elijah during a time of famine; he revealed himself to be a prophet and he promised her an abundance of oil and meal and raised her son from the dead! (I Kings 17:9-24)
Two travelers going towards Emmaus invited a stranger who had been walking and talking with them on the road to join them for a meal; he revealed himself to be the risen Christ as they broke bread together. (Luke 24:13-35)
In all these stories, and others as well, it is not just that hospitality is being praised as a virtue and encouraged as a social good, it is that hospitality creates a space in which the gifts each had to offer could be shared. Within this reciprocity of blessing both host and guest found new life.
Hospitality is fundamentally an attitude of welcome, compassion and respect that honors the guest and creates a space for friendship and freedom in which life is nourished.
Henri Nouwen writes eloquently about the importance of freedom in creating hospitality.
Hospitality, therefore, means primarily the creation of a free space where the stranger can enter and become a friend instead of an enemy. Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place. It is not to bring men and women over to our side, but to offer freedom not disturbed by dividing lines. It is not to lead our neighbor into a corner where there are no alternatives left, but to open a wide spectrum of options for choice and commitment. It is not an educated intimidation with good books, good stories and good works, but the liberation of fearful hearts so that words can find roots and bear ample fruit. It is not a method of making our God and our way into the criteria of happiness, but the opening of an opportunity to others to find their God and their way. The paradox of hospitality is that it wants to create emptiness, not a fearful emptiness, but a friendly emptiness where strangers can enter and discover themselves as created free, free to sing their own songs, speak their own languages, dance their own dances, free also to leave and follow their own vocations. Hospitality is not a subtle invitation to adopt the lifestyle of the host, but the gift of a change for the guest to find his [or her] own.
Nouwen, REACHING OUT, p. 51
Hospitality as a spiritual process or movement from isolation to connection. This requires making a hospitable space for the self as well as the other.
Barriers to hospitality:
Fear
Shame
Grief
Greed/injustice
Judgmentalism
Stories of hospitality
Jack Kornfield tells the following story about a couple who were unable to conceive a child:
They decided to adopt one and sought a child from a poor country, thinking this would be of greater service. They adopted a beautiful two-month old baby boy from India. During the first year, it became evident that the child had grave health problems. First, it was discovered that he was profoundly deaf and would never hear. Second, he had cerebral palsy that, though it would not affect his intelligence, could cripple the development of his body. They taught him sign language so they could speak to him, and then they got him a small wheelchair when he was old enough to walk so that he might move about. After this, they created a support network of parents who adopted disabled children. Because they were afraid their son would be isolated, they did a most astonishing thing. They wrote to India to ask if they might adopt another child who was also deaf. Along with this press story was a picture of the two children together, radiant with wide smiles, hugging one another. Imagine this for yourself. Imagine adopting a child and learning that he or she was deaf and crippled, and then imagine a response that answers back without self-pity or fear and says, "I have one child like this, now please send me another."
Kornfield, A PATH WITH HEART, p. 223
What a moving story of fearless compassion and hospitality!
This next story reveals some of the challenges that confront us in the spiritual task of becoming more hospitable. It is a story told by the Buddha as found in Wayne Muller's book, LEAGACY OF THE HEART.
A young widower, who loved his five-year-old son very much, was away on business, and bandits came, burned down his whole village, and took his son away. When the man returned, he saw the ruins and panicked. He took the charred corpse of an infant to be his own child, and he began to pull his hair and beat his chest, crying uncontrollably. He organized a cremation ceremony, collected the ashes, and put them in a very beautiful velvet pouch. Working, sleeping, or eating, he always carried the bag of ashes with him.
One day his real son escaped from the robbers and found his way home. He arrived at his father's new cottage at midnight, and knocked at the door. You can imagine, at that time, the young father was still carrying the bag of ashes and crying. He asked, "Who is there?" And the child answered, "It's me, Papa. Open the door, it's your son." In his agitated state of mind the father thought that some mischievous boy was making fun of him, and he shouted at the child to go away, and continued to cry. The boy knocked again and again, but the father refused to let him in. Some time passed, and finally the child left. From that time on, father and son never saw one another.
After telling this story, the Buddha said, "Sometime, somewhere you take something to be the truth. If you cling to it so much, when the truth comes in person and knocks on your door, you will not open it."
Muller, LEGACY OF THE HEART, p. 136
I find that story to have many layers of meaning. The one that stands out for me now in the context of hospitality is how both the father and the son represent us. The little boy, who has metaphorically returned from the dead, is our true nature, the loving, playful power to heal that is within each of us. But in our distress we do not recognize our true nature, we do not open ourselves to welcome the divine child that we inherently are. Hospitality must be extended towards oneself as well as others if we are to grow and mature on our spiritual journey.
It is in the development and practice of a fearless love and compassion for our self that we discover a love and compassion big enough to welcome others into the freedom that can empower them to discover their own loving nature.
It is also important to remember that this spiritual movement of hospitality requires that we maintain good boundaries. Learning to set limits, to say no at times without putting the other person out of our loving heart, is difficult. Kornfield writes,
A woman friend who was studying in India was traveling through the dark streets of Calcutta one night on the way to the train station. For many months she had been practicing both Insight Meditation and the complementary practices of loving-kindness and compassion. That night she was on her way to a meditation retreat with a friend. Suddenly a man jumped on her rickshaw and tried to pull her off. She and her friend managed to push him away, and still frightened, they continued on to the railway station. When she told her story to her teacher, he expressed concern and said, "Oh, dear, with all the loving-kindness and compassion in your heart, you should have taken your umbrella and hit that man over the head."
Kornfiled, A PATH WITH HEART, p. 224
Setting limits and maintaining good boundaries is an expression of our respect for all beings, a group in which we ourselves are to be included.
The final story for our reflection this morning is a familiar one from the parables of Jesus. It is the story of the person who had invited his friends to a lavish banquet and when it was all prepared sent his messengers out to tell folks it was time. All his friends were suddenly busy and asked to be excused from the feast. So the host told his messengers to invite everyone, the rich and the poor, the able-bodied and the disabled, anyone and everyone, and fill up the banquet hall so the feast could be enjoyed. You can imagine what the neighbors thought about this. But it didn't matter. The feast was spread and all were welcome.
We probably do not literally have a banquet hall in our house big enough for everyone, but we have a loving heart and a wise and compassionate mind that can open to and welcome all of life. The movement of hospitality starts here. The gifts that each has to bring can be shared here. The promise of new and abundant life is born here. Thanks be to God!
Matthew 10:40-42
The one who accepts you accepts me, and the one who accepts me accepts the one who sent me.
The one who accepts a prophet as a prophet will be treated like a prophet; and the one who accepts a virtuous person will be treated like a virtuous person.
And whoever gives so much as a cup of cool water to one of these little ones, because the little one is a follower of mine, I swear to you, such a person certainly won't go without a reward.
Copyright © 2008, the Reverend Rick Yramategui, All Rights Reserved