. . . love is the reality operating in the universe. To the extent that persons do not relate to each other in love,
they are going against their own basic nature and reality. Community is fractured and broken, not because we can't achieve
community, but because we refuse to act in the ways that are basic to our being, preventing us from having what is already there.

What makes something a tradition? Is it something we've always done? Is it something our parents and their parents before them did and have now handed down to us? Is it something basic to the fabric of life? How traditional was it in the first century to think that the earth was flat? How traditional is it today in the twenty first century to believe that the earth is round?

Someone once told me that if you do something new one Sunday it's a novelty. If you do the same thing again the next Sunday it's a habit. And if you do it a third time on the next Sunday it's the way we've always done it.

This morning I want to reflect with you upon some traditions that are changing, but first a little context.

Yesterday I officiated at a memorial service for a friend who had died of cancer eight days ago. He and his partner were well-respected and much-loved members of the community here on the Monterey Peninsula. They had been together for 38 years and, like most married couples, had experienced their share of life's ups and downs, adventures and misadventures. At the end of a long and valiant fight against cancer, his partner saw to it that he could spend his final days at home with him at his side. Yet for all their love, commitment, self-sacrifice, integrity and all the life history they had shared, they could never be legally married here in this country simply because they were two men.

Now, today, we are just one day away from becoming the second state in the United States of America to officially, legally recognize the civil union of same sex couples. We are witnessing history being made. Some people are ecstatic about this long overdue step towards greater justice and equality. Others are appalled at what they perceive to be a breakdown of society and a loss of what they consider to be "traditional" values.

I am feeling quite over-joyed and a little bit incredulous, like "I can't believe it's really going to happen," about all this. Them I remind myself that there's still a long way to go on the path of justice and equality. After tomorrow, many of the rights enjoyed by opposite-sex married couples will still be denied to same-sex married couples because these rights are conferred by the federal government rather than by the state.

At times like these I find it helpful to get a broader historical perspective on the whole issue. Many people in our society still have a lot of fear around this issue and that interferes with out ability to think and act wisely. As I was reading and researching this past week it dawned on me that while this is a historic step forwards, it really isn't anything new. We've been here before.

First, we have a long history of changing our family dynamics, including the roles people play within the family unit. Just a few centuries ago many societies made a shift from the then traditional extended family unity to a new and unorthodox family unity we call the nuclear family. In the last hundred years many of us have also made a shift away from a patriarchal family structure to a more egalitarian family structure. It seems that throughout history families have survived by changing and adapting to the shifting social, economic and technological forces in the world. There is nothing new about redefining the meaning of the family or of marriage. We've been here many times before.

Second, we actually have a long history of recognizing and honoring intense, intimate, passionate, and loving same-sex relationships within society and within the church. Heterosexuals most often call these relationships "friendships," while others tend to see a little more to it than that. In the Bible we find the example of Ruth and Naomi in which Ruth makes the following vow to Naomi;

This vow is still used in weddings today!

There is also the relationship between the great king David of Israel and his friend Jonathan, of whom David says ". . . very pleasant have you been to me; your love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women." (II Sam 1:26) Most Biblical commentators get a little nervous about this and are quick to proclaim that this does not necessarily imply a sexual relationship, but I'm not so sure about that. Earlier on the two men made a covenant with each other in which,

There you have it, the real benefit of gay marriage - you get to double your wardrobe!

In the early Christian tradition we also have the story of two Roman soldiers, Serge and Bacchus, who lived in the late third and early fourth centuries. They later becamee paired saints in the church. They were a couple who were united to each other in life and, so the story goes, re-united after their deaths as martyrs. By the tenth century Serge is commonly referred to as the "sweet companion and lover" of Bacchus. (see John Boswell, SAME-SEX UNIONS IN PREMODERN EUROPE, p. 154)

Regardless of whether these relationships were sexual or not they were obviously intense, intimate, passionate and loving, and they were recognized and honored by people within society and the community of faith. We've been here before.

Third, we have a long though mostly forgotten history of liturgically recognizing and blessing same-sex relationships. In his ground-breaking book, SAME-SEX UNIONS IN PREMODERN EUROPE, John Boswell, history professor at Yale University, meticulously documents how the church developed liturgies for blessing same-sex unions, the earliest extant examples coming from the eighth century. As these liturgies developed and spread one of the scriptural references most commonly cited within them was Psalm 133, the text that was read earlier this morning. While today we tend to think of the liturgical blessing of same-sex unions within the church as a new and novel happening it has been going on for centuries! We've been here before.

Fourth, and finally, society has along and infamous history of demonizing and outlawing behavior deemed by the majority to be offensive, scary, or just plain foreign. This has often resulted in tragic social injustices which have taken centuries to redress. A prime example of this are the anti-miscegenation laws that banned inter-racial marriage here in America and were only forty years ago declared unconstitutional by the Supreme Court. I'm sure that some at that time called this the work of an activist court.

The history of these laws, their enactment and eventual overturning, and of the fortunately unsuccessful attempts to pass a constitutional amendment banning inter-racial marriage, is too long to get into in detail right now. But this history is extremely interesting and relevant today. There is a very good summary of this on the wikipedia website and I would encourage those who are interested to start there. For now, let me just quote a portion of the 1967 Supreme Court ruling that declared the banning of inter-racial marriage to be unconstitutional.

Even though this ended the enforcement of laws prohibiting inter-racial marriage, it would take until the year 2000 (just eight years ago!) for the last state in the union, Alabama, to officially amend it's state constitution to comply with the Supreme Court ruling. Folks, we've been here before.

We do not know what will happen this coming November when we Californians will vote on a referendum to amend our state constitution to prohibit the legal recognition of same-sex unions. I hope it does not pass. But I think we do know how it is going to eventually turn out because we have been here before. Love, compassion, wisdom and justice will eventually have the last word.

What really amazes me though, is how through it all, we never give up on love. Whether we're a gay or lesbian person fighting against society's ignorance and fear; a divorcee choosing to take the risk of loving again though the church may not approve; a person married to someone of a different race having to deal with other people's prejudice; or the average man or woman who has had to overcome some unhelpful lessons about love and marriage learned from a dysfunctional family system - we continue to choose to love! Despite all the obstacles, we never give up on love. And, thanks be to God, love never gives up on us.

Behold, how good an pleasant it is when brothers [and sisters] dwell in unity.

It is like the precious oil upon the head,

running down upon the beard,

upon the beard of Aaron,

running down on the collar of his robes!

It is like the dew of Hermon,

which falls on the mountains of Zion!

For there Yahweh has commanded the blessing,

life for evermore.